It seems as if either A) The universe is not on my side or B) The universe has something planned for me and I don’t know it, but lately I have been experiencing one bad event after another. Admittedly, I have been in a bad headspace these past few weeks, regarding money and dealing with mental illness (no more meds, no more money for meds, etc) and it’s a cycle that effects my job:
No meds> Mental health fail> cant go to work > no money>
lather, rinse, repeat.
so after several days of attempting to return to work, it seems like something is not letting me leave: the other day upon intention to return I ended up getting physically sick, then the next time I tried to return I ended up having a severe panic attack, and now today my car battery is completely DEAD despite the fact that I haven’t left anything on whatsoever.
Side note: I am also looking for another job. My job isn’t bad, it’s just mentally exhausting and I have to deal with confrontation on a daily basis which is a huge catalyst for my mental health failure. I have had several job offers, no interviews, one interview but didn’t get the job, it’s almost if I’m not meant to be doing something or something better is coming along. I don’t know. I am trying to be positive and acknowledge my emotions (I literally just decided to start fresh this morning after FINALLY understanding that article on how to “let go” of emotions) but at the same time I’m very confused and when I don’t understand what’s going on I feel upset.